An Amazing Adventure

“Wake up, Jonathan! It’s now already seven o’clock. Wake up quickly, or you will be late!” Today was the new semester of Jonathan’s school. “Okay, mum, I am coming.”

A few minutes later, Jonathan had some strange feeling. He felt someone was hauling him to another place. Jonathan was so scared. He started to shout as loud as he could. However, Jonathan discovered that he couldn’t open his mouth. At this time, some strong wind blew Jonathan into a big eddy.

“Ahhhhhhhhh! Help! Help!” Jonathan suddenly can open his mouth again. Jonathan was too afraid and dizzy. Therefore, he lost his consciousness.

Jonathan slept for a very long time until another morning. When he woke up, he detected that he was on a very big prairie. Jonathan was so alarmed. He didn’t know what he could do next. He only knew if he did not leave this prairie as fast as he could, he would die on the grassland. Maybe he would be eaten by the fierce wild animals.

Because of this terrible thought, Jonathan decided to leave this big prairie. He started to run. However, after four hours, Jonathan still couldn’t see the margin of this grassland. Jonathan felt so tired and thirsty. However, he could not see any wellspring. So, Jonathan had no choice, he ran again.

About five hours later, Jonathan eventually saw a small river in front of him. He was so jovial. After praying to God, he ran to the small river as quickly as he could. However, when he reached the river, he intended to drink water. He saw his clothes having turned into a set of ancient garment. He suddenly remembered his teacher of General Studies said that the clothes were from Qin Dynasty.

Jonathan was so pleased because he wanted to see what Qin Dynasty looked like. After Jonathan drank water, it was already twilight. Therefore, he determined to stay in this big grassland for a night and continued the next day.

The next day was a sunny day again. Jonathan had not eaten anything for one day. Therefore, the first thing after waking up was to look for the food. However, as this was a grassland, so Jonathan could only find the grass and some fish in the river. Jonathan knew he would die on the grassland if he did not leave this wild and horrible place. So, he ran again.

Luckily, Jonathan could see the city quickly.

Jonathan walked into the market. However, he discovered that, in the market, there were no men or boys. There were only some young boys, women, girls or grandsires. He also felt that everyone was looking at him with the strange visions. Jonathan was hungry. He got some money from his pocket and bought four pieces of bread to eat.

However, when he was eating the bread, two soldiers suddenly grabbed Jonathan’s shoulder and brought him to a sumptuous palace.

“Your Highness.,” one soldier said, “We have brought you a boy who has not joined the army.” “What? How dare he is!” After Jonathan listened to their conversation, he knew the man who was sitting on the chair was Qin Shihuang. But he thought Qin Shihuang was too ugly. Jonathan also knew he must join the army and fought with the enemies. It was because Qin Shihuang wanted to annex six countries.

After a week, the war began. Jonathan became a soldier, too. He was so frightened and wanted to cry.

At this time, the eddy appeared again. Jonathan was so excited, he ran into it quickly. A few minutes later, he was in the dining room.

“Mum, Mum! I’ve got an amazing adventure in Qin Dynasty.” “Dear, are you sick? You’ve just sat here for a minute,” said Mum. Jonathan cried, “But I really went to Qin Dynasty!” Mother turned around and walked into the kitchen to cook some food. Jonathan grumbled…


老師評語

It is good that you could connect your ideas with the Chinese history. I think you are really interested in the history about Qin Dynasty!

The plots are well-organized. However, it seems to me that you can elaborate your ending so that your story can be more complete.